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About Literature / Hobbyist Member SHam37/Male/United States Group :iconbloodbathofc: BloodBathOFC
 
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What is the point of waking up tomorrow if she's not there?

If I could will myself to not wake up I'd fucking do it. But it doesn't work that way.

I treated her like nothing. Now she's gone. She never knew... neither of us knew. If I could go back and not just kiss her, but simply hold her hand once more... and now it's gone.

She deserved more than I could ever give her. I'm the most selfish man alive. I had the greatest gift a man could ever ask for. She was proof that there is a god.

This is hell. To have lived with her and not tell her I love her enough. To take back every fucking cross word and every complaint.

She deserved so much more. More than I could have ever given her.

Now the silence will be deafening.

This morning I broke a clock. I was so tired of its constant clicking. Now that she's gone I don't need it. But it was hers. It was not mine to destroy. It's like I still don't get it. The most amazing woman on earth loved something and I destroyed it. It's gone.

If life is some contest I won it a long fucking time ago. I won. And I didn't even give a shit.

Why in hell did she choose me?

Me.

This selfish little fuck up.

Me.

If I could tear out my beating heart I would.

I only shaved this morning because she would have liked that. I only do things for her now because I'm too stupid to have done it then.

It's the least I could do.

The love of my life is gone. I can't live on thinking of her in just memories. I can't change them. If I could I would give her the man I had lied about being.





Thank you all for coming.
Well, I'm turning this sucker into a novel... Since I can't afford my comic team as I'm broke as hell, I might as well see if I can take it into a direction that is... FREE!  I still want to finish the comic series one day, but I can't right now...  I've had some good boosts lately that are starting to chip away at this giant block that I've had weighing me down for a long time and I think I can make some real progress- especially because the scripts for issues 1 & 2 and a good portion of 3 are already completed so now I just need to change from comic script to standard novel.  Plus, I get to flesh out more ideas and add more detail on this level.

Wish my fat ass luck!
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Wax
  • Reading: The 12th Planet
  • Watching: Way Too Early
  • Playing: Battlefield 4 on PS3
  • Eating: Pork Adobo
  • Drinking: Black Cherry Soda

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ShamDaddy's Profile Picture
ShamDaddy
SHam
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Comic is finished... I sent it off to four publishers and got 2 no's and 2 unresponsive. I want to send it off again, but so far every publisher I've looked at is only looking for artists for THEIR already established writers. Frustrating.

Issue #2 script is done and #3 script is 1/4 done. I'm eventually going to create a website for it to get a buzz going.

Current Residence: Herndon, VA
deviantWEAR sizing preference: 2XL
Favourite genre of music: Punk
Favourite style of art: Artistic Nude Photography
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:iconmiss-melis:
Miss-Melis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014   General Artist
Happy Birthday!
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:iconshamdaddy:
ShamDaddy Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I wad just showing off your shoes the other day! 
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:iconmiss-melis:
Miss-Melis Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014   General Artist
awesome! :)
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:iconnyasiaesylvester:
NyasiaEsylvester Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Professional
thanks for the fave sham. awesome artwork you have. I'm a model. send me a note if you're interested in the skype shoot i have available. we get on skype you tell me how to pose my photographer shoots it. We send you the images after to draw from 
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:iconshamdaddy:
ShamDaddy Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'll draw from what you have so far and see what you think first. 
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:iconnyasiaesylvester:
NyasiaEsylvester Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Professional
Okay :D 
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:iconshamdaddy:
ShamDaddy Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
And thanks so much for the compliments especially from someone as talented as you. 
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(1 Reply)
:iconmolvayas:
Molvayas Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday!
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:iconshamdaddy:
ShamDaddy Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!!!
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:iconfovdphotography:
FOVDPhotography Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013  Professional Photographer
Thank you very much for the :+devwatch: :)
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